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Witness of God

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So what do you think of this does it sound like you would like a book like this? i need opinion :p



I know its big but please take the time to read it.



Wandering the vast desert he parches his thirst, in his dryness he laps the top of his mouth for moistness, which is not there. Waves of sand and auras of despair surround all around him. His life hangs as the last drip of blood to leave a sword. Trusting, hope that’s all that is left knowing there are more promises than this he holds, abandoning his heavy suit of armor behind he feels helpless as a baby if the demons come to attack again. He hears the serpent clanging a haunting bell in his right ear, the vivid words of forsaken taunt his hope. Closing his eyes he falls with his knees hitting the ground followed by his hands in the scorching sand. Kneeling in the sand, feeling the sand he says evident words, he says “Satan why would he abandon me when the Father says a promise in my heart.” “Never will I forsake my children.”



Looking at a horizon of nothing but waves of sand as the sandy floor of an ocean he knows what he must do. 30 days have passed. Dehydrated from these days in the desert without food but only a swallow of water a day from his side pack, he knows he must be a warrior of Christ he must endure this trial without fail or flaw. He stands and walks. He looks ahead and does nothing more but walking to what is ahead, his promise. The sun soon falls and the moon replaces with its comforting glow. His feet swollen by walking so far without rest, he stops. Smiling he closes his eyes to say his prayer. Opening his eyes he sees what unseen, The Angel Michael. The Angel levitating in his glow moves his hand to the right pointing and the sand immediately blows to reveal a suit of white armor. Then the Angel says, “Walk to the west you will find a shack its inhabitance will show you what your foundation lays.” The Angel then turns to a dust devil and goes to the west and implants a trail to follow.



Out of sight from the warrior he looks now at the white armor, which has a mystical glow in the moonlight as a tears glow, shows the moonlight, as did the armor from the Father. Walking to the armor his eyes were focused on the helmet. The helmet was that of a demon slayer. Reaching down to the helmet water dripped from his finger as moister filled the air around him cleaning his whole body and refreshing his thirst without a drink. Grabbing the helmet he slipped on to see the sight if it altered. Seeing it did not he put it on then his body. As one with the armor he pulled his sword from his sheath and his sword glowed as a soul resonating to his body knowing he was complete he felt no weight from the armor. Kneeling to the ground, steadied by his sword he gave thanksgiving to the lord. No longer tired, drained of energy, swollen or hungry he knew what God gifted his armor with. Knowing full well these gifts could be taken away by the slightest bit of pride and ego, he says, “Praise the Lord, and all this is bestowed upon me as a gift. Blessed is the Lord!”



Running he did with joy as an ostrich does so he did also on the trail to the west. Hours passed and tired he was not. He could also jump, as a flea does not by a normal human motion but that also of a flea a burst to the legs as if to flick the ground. Many miles hath passed but the sand hath turned to split dirt dry and far from water. Night was still evident and morning was soon to come. Stopped as though of by the heavens he looked to see a light in the distance. Firelight it was and the trail hath ended. Looking up I began to see the light of first light barely evident. Stopped I still was for wood was not evident anywhere. Walking to the light I saw the shape of a shack with the light from its windows.
 

009

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Witnessofgod said:
The Angel Michael.
That must be me :D

real cool story man !

want more !

want more !

want more !

countinue the story :)

Some of the words i didn't understand.. but you did a great job !

its cool man !



But as my teacher says.. introduce us to the char first before begin the story...

A story are spilt up in 3 parts



introduce

main story

ending



that you wrote was a part of the introduce to the main story...
 

Splorch

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thats the way a plain story or a child's book is written. Personally i like books where you arent introduced about characters beyond their looks in the beginning. The rest of their intro is placed within and throughout the story, allowing for you to decide who that character is.
 

Incivad

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I personally dislike it but then again I'm not literary critic. To me it was rather boring and I had to force myself to finish the read. It was also chock full of some of the dumbest metaphors and similes I have ever seen. They seemed forced and have horrible comparisons. Who compares anything to an ostrich, I mean seriously who throws a shoe (If you don't get that, well then too bad).
 

Witness of God

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:p

Thanks for the comments. im glad to hear the likes and dislikes.



It gets alot more interesting :p I write it whenever i am fasting which makes it more inspired by God and he kind of unrolls the story in visions as i write.



I like it alot even when i read it i was like awesome. I guess because God helped. When i finish the book you can read it 009 :p
 

Xentoes

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I say that was a good story there!! And it shows that God can do anything even in real life. :D
 

Evaan

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I both like and dislike it.



To me, that's not how God works, but God's angels doesn't turn into devils either, now do they ;)

But then again, Satan doesn't really work that way either.



Nonetheless, I think it's a good writing, but I don't like how it suddenly goes from "him" to "I" at the end.



Other than that, very well written, but also very... fictional.



Seeing isn't believing. Believing is seeing.
 

Witness of God

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I loved the narrator switch. I think it is very able to happen but not in physical view. I really cant congradulate myself because Gods telling it to me i just write it. I love to hear your thought its awesome. I love its spice of warrior and God its awesome.



The book has no date since i write it only when i fast but possibly 4 years from now it will be done or maybe 2 years just depends how much i fast :p
 
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